Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
