"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
