Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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