so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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