Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
