Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
