You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize