i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
