So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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