I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
