They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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