she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
