A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
