dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
