Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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