The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
