ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
