Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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