Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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