yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
