I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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