**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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