You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
did i walk over a car last night?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
