nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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