I faked an abortion last night.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
