I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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