It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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