and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
