The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Small penises have feelings too.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize