He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
