I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
