you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
