Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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