I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
