I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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