I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Everyone says I win the strip club
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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