before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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