you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
