i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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