He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
