last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
