we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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