Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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