another moral hangover. fuck.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
