ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
