Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
