I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
