so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
