It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
