That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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