ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize