Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
