# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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