careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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