This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
