Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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