but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
