I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Is her dick bigger than yours?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize