She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
