At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
