ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
