Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize