He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
