I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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