thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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