Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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