she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
