everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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