Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
