she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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