They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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